

If I do get back in the scene in the future and find myself staring down the barrel of a penis, how should I quell the nausea? What can I do to be comfortable with the idea of a dick in my mouth? Are there some magical guys out there who would be content with never getting a blowjob? I would prefer to not stress about how much of a gender failure I am for the rest of my life. It’s not a pressing issue because I’m happy in my current relationship, but I sometimes lie awake thinking about how no cis man would ever be happy with me and I should resign myself to lesbianism (don’t get me started on the issue of wearing a wedding dress).

The idea of some man looking down at me while I pleasure him-maybe this is rooted in gender roles, but again, just the thought upsets me. I have no problems eating people out or with any other kind of sex and I like to consider myself adventurous and open-minded, but I fear I can never be with a cis man because I don’t want to suck his dick. The idea of giving a blowjob to any kind of dick, silicone or organic, revolts and upsets me to the point of tears. I’ve had sex with women and trans men, but never a cis man, and though I’m not opposed to the idea, one thing, in particular, stresses me out. I’m a college-aged, assigned female at birth, bisexual person who has so far only had relationships with women. Have a question? Send it to Stoya and Rich here.
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